Scripted
by Domestic Servant
Summary: Shipping parody, plain and simple. Warnings of crack. You may overdose.


**Disclaimed.**

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"But I've always loved you, Zuko. _Al_ways. Ever since you..." Katara looked away, shielding her onslaught of tears with her thick hair. "Ever since you _saved me from the pirates."_

The two were on a cliff, overlooking a most scenic sunset, oddly still halfway on the horizon...and it had no intention to go any lower. The wind whipped through their hair dramatically as Zuko turned Katara's face towards his. "Katara. Even though you are merely a Water Tribe peasant, I've had undying feelings for your since...since...since I attacked your village! You were so _beautiful_ compared to the small children and fat women...and your brother."

"Oh, Zuko," sighed Katara.

"Katara," he breathed huskily.

The two leaned in for a kiss when, suddenly, Zuko was knocked to the ground by a suspicious staff.

"Aang!" cried Katara. She held her hand up to her mouth in horror for being _discovered _and started to cry from the mere shame.

"How _could you_, Katara?" he wailed, sinking to his knees. "I've loved you from the beginning!"

"I'm sorry! But I only love you like a brother. It's Zuko," she trailed off, turning to the currently immobilozed Fire Lord. "He's so...handsome and..."

Zuko got up and posed in the wind, the sun still hovering halfway set in the distance...

"OOH, _sparkles," _said Aang.

"We're like _yin_ and _yang,_" she finished, breathing a most melodramatic breath, in anticipation for Aang's coming cry of sorrow.

However, in the distance, heavy footsteps could be heard. These belonged to none other than..._Toph Bei FONG!_

"Toph!" cried Aang, whirling around on an air scooter to face her. "I just realized, I'm in love with you! So let's be together, yeah?"

Toph shrugged. "Okay."

"I always knew it would work out," cried Katara, tears of happiness streaming down her face. She clung tightly to Zuko, who was noticably having difficulty to breathe.

The light dimmed as the sun _finally _began to set and a loud, reverberating applause could be heard as velvet curtains covered what was left of the scene.

Up in the balcony, as the patrons of the Ember Island Player's began to file out, the Gaang sat speechless...well, save for Sokka and Suki and Mai, all of whom weren't even in the play and so had no jarring effect on them. Though Sokka was mentioned. Once. The group had been to a previous play here only five years ago and none of them enjoyed it much. Toph had her laughs about the casting, but in the end, it proved to be quite the downer. Why they would decide to give it another chance, was beyond any mind's grasp, though Sokka did make a few cracks on Katara, stating that her penchant for hope and change probably led them to this place that night.

"Wow, Aang, you're looking pretty..._Aangry." _He laughed heartily, slapping his knee several times for effect at his idiot joke. "Get it? _Aang? Aangry?!"_

"We get it Sokka," sighed Suki

"This was stupid," huffed Mai. She didn't even know why Zuko dragged her here. Something about her having to suffer along with him...dumb boyfriend.

"Fuckin' a," he said, encircling his arm around her shoulders.

"_Since you saved me from the pirates? _What kind of bull is that?!" shrieked Katara.

"But I _did _save you from the pirates," Zuko answered offhandedly.

"That doesn't mean I fell in love with you!"

"Katara, do you seriously only see me as a brother?"

She whirled around to face the Avatar, steaming with anger...ironically, since she was a waterbender. So, one would suppose she would be...boiling with anger? Condensating? Whatever. Anyway, she was angry.

"Would I _have sex _withmy _brother_?"

All was silent for a few moments, the majority of the theatre having left and the rest to ponder Katara's statement of fury, when Sokka's genius mind suddenly clicked. And click it did.

"_KATARA HAVE WHAT WITH WHO_?!"

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Anyone for some late night crack?

Ehh, I mean no seriousness in this. I'm all for any pairing. I don't really care for the drama of shipping wars. This was meant for some good, old fashioned fun and should be treated as such. So don't take it seriously. Please.

That aside, I hope you got some laughs and some good WTF moments, cause that was why I wrote this :)

SALUD!

PS...re...VIEW :D


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